Chapter 2 & 1st entry

Chapter 2 & 1st entry

A dream comes true

Hanging onto the railing of the yacht as it's bow cut through the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean Sea from Island to Island. I would soon be amongst the magical Greek Islands; the wind in my face and anticipation in my heart. What more could a healthy, virile twenty year old, red blooded South African male in the prime of his life want? Only hours away for some more wine, woman and song! What a scary lost thought, nevertheless a true one. All I was looking for was a nonstop party! These were the thoughts that accompanied me on my flight from London to Athens.

The Island Mykonos and its resort club became my home for the next three months. This had to be the answer I was looking for. Sunshine, the sea, women, wine and song surrounded me. Had I arrived? The flesh loved this! The freedom to indulged and feast on everything my senses craved, all this readily available and an answer to my drives and needs at my fingertips. I was in a country that could help me quench my lusts. Despite this, having my fill and embracing the lusts of my flesh that were available to me, I was still empty and unsatisfied, maybe you can also relate to the point I make.

There was a man years ago a king, the son of King David, his name Solomon. What Solomon did was to make it his life time goal to seek out wisdom. He indulged in every fantasy his heart desired and then penned his summation on his findings, this was his conclusion to life; “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

Amazingly, I was feeling exactly the same deep within my soul, I just hadn’t realised it yet.

In looking back on my life I realised that it was at this point in my life that the call of God began to echo through my life. I began to demand answers. However, as real and as demanding as I found this groaning within, and the need to find answers, all it took to rob me of the answers I was searching for was the next adventure that presented itself... a yacht and the Greek islands. How fickle and shallow are we? Let me speak for myself and not for others, how fickle was I? However, praise the Lord Jesus, who is the King of Kings and the one who came to rescue those who were lost and undone – even me. Tyrone a man blinded by sin and not yet ready to embrace the truth. How much more merciful did God have to be with me? How much more fortitude did He have to show? Little did I then know of how merciful, tolerant, forgiving and long suffering God actually is, but that in time and through experience I would come to taste of that mercy, and I trust that you too will glorify Him as you witness His wonderful grace and mercy as my story unfolds. It will almost seem impossible, but the truth be known, the Lord Jesus is merciful and He will prove by action that He is the Great Shepherd and He will seek out all those who are lost and rescue them from hell and damnation. How often I have stood on the brink of hell and not been swallowed up by it, just when I though all hope was gone, my Saviour came to the rescue, praise His name! He will not lose anyone whom the Father has given Him.

“And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.” (John 6:39)

My construction life and handyman work came to an end, maybe now on this yacht “Sea Jay” and on the seas of the Greek Isles I would find the peace I was looking for. Here I was in a place that apparently is most peoples’ dream, on the beautiful blue waters of the Mediterranean Seas travelling between Islands, what bliss! Was I about to find the answer to life I had been searching for, for so long? I had never voiced it amongst friends but deep down I was searching for truth. Could theses turquoise waters of Greece provide me the answer, maybe it was here that I would find peace and purpose, once and for all? Here I was on day one on the yacht surrounded by beautiful blue seas but hanging over the side of the railing feeding the fish and it wasn’t because I had a fisherman’s line in the water, no! I was vomiting my guts out! Here is one of the most valuable lessons I have leant and still in principle I am continuously taught by this lesson. Things are not always what they appear to be; in my mind I had painted a serene picture of a yacht and blue seas, with me in the centre as the benefactor of pure bliss. How wrong was I? Getting sick and hanging over the side of the boat was not an option I had considered. However, that is exactly how day one started. Here we see once again I was exposed to another snare that life threw at me, keeping the truth of God and salvation through His son far from me. Decoy after decoy, look at your own life and consider the point I make, can you relate to my experience, if your answer is yes to my question, then the call has gone out to you as well, repent and believe on the Lord Jesus.

I was losing count on how many decoys life had thrown at me, this must have been decoy one thousand two hundred and twenty four or whatever number it was.

It was just another decoy in life with a subtle deception that the father of lies (the devil) establishes by craftily deceiving all those blinded by sin. His beguiling hooks the world, it had obviously captivated me and I was following with complete commitment that was obvious, I was travelling down the wrong road and on the way to destruction, on my way to hell! The devils sole purpose is to point people in the opposite direction to the “truth”. The Lord Jesus is the truth; everything outside of Him comes from the devil and its foundation is based on lies. Those lies come in many different forms...

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)

How did those lies play out in my life? It could be as simple as trying to hold my breath a little longer while spear fishing; or it may be to spear a slightly bigger fish than the time before, as fish were hard to come by especially in Greece as those waters had been raped through time and their aquatic population was nearing extinction. Instead of drinking a small bottle of Ouzo I would be able to drink a large one and still stay on my feet. Maybe my few inhibitions would vanish as I was able to conquer the next woman that crossed my path. Simple fruitless snares that deceive!

What blindness, what confusion, what a place to find oneself! However, in the same breathe this is where I was and how I was driven in life. This was it! Everyone around me would have longed for my position, let’s face it at the age of twenty I was living life amongst the lifestyle of the “rich and famous”. Sure, I was only a deckhand but I witnessed all they witnessed, I swam in the same sea, I even ate the same food. Everyone wants what I had, even my little brother Ryan now at the age of eighteen is training to be a deckhand and then a skipper so that he can quench his dream, which may give temporal satisfaction for a time, but it will eventually catch up with him, like it did with me, leaving him empty and needing more. “THE DECOYS OF LIFE”! Watch out for them they prowl the empty hearts at night waiting in the shadows they are the lures of “the evil one”, they are the devils traps!

The days before took on the same pattern as it had done the day before, decoy after decoy. It may have played out slightly differently but it always had the same shape, if you know what I mean. Even when conversing with young men from other countries, while we discussed our drives and all we searched for, hunting for satisfaction, my conclusion is that we were the same as we looked for our next fulfilling moment.

We eventually docked on the island Kos, were we planned to stay a couple of weeks. One night I was at one of the nightclubs, and unbelievably it was called “Heaven”. Everyone know the benefits of heaven, they know it as something we all aspire to, even a club that was filled with debauchery, everything that heaven is not, it was pretending to be. Think about that! Deep down we all ask questions, it is the way we have been created, body and soul is our make-up. We lust and look to gratify our fleshly desires, but there is also our spiritual desire that needs quenching, hence all the different religious views found in the world. But none of them outside of Christianity will ultimately quench the inquiring mind once and for all. Once God opens one’s eyes, it is only then that we will see spiritual truths that can only be found in and through the Lord Jesus. That is the stance of the Bible, whether you believe what it teaches or not, that is your choice. You cannot say I believe the bible is a good book but all religions will make it to heaven. If this is your view point, then the bible is not a good book, as it opposes any who resist the Lord Jesus as God and man, and it even goes as far to say this; “And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life.” (1John 5:20)

Back in the club a friend and I were minding our own business and before long a 5ft 2” Greek confronted Greg my travelling companion. He had a hairy chest and was showing it off to everyone with a large crucifix hanging from his neck. So many decoys and lies all around us, this crucifix depicted Christ’s sacrifice and how He turned the other cheek to all those who mocked and scourged Him. See the message and signal this little man was sending out, He was apparently religious, that was obvious to note because of the crucifix on his neck. However, he was not a peace maker, so this then followed, words then broke out between him and Greg (Sledgehammer Grant) and testosterone filled the room. And then it happened he slapped Greg through the face and that was that and punches began to fly. Greg was close on six foot and had some boxing experience, the inevitable happened, the Greek ended up on the floor defeated. No sooner had he got up and disappeared when a gang of about fifty Greek men surrounded us, with one thought in mind, to destroy – there was no thought of deliverance, all this puny little man wanted now was revenge for the humiliation he suffered in front of his English girlfriend. So much for the crucifix he wore! We knew it was now time for a disappearing act if we wanted to come away with our life intact. We managed to slip into the crowd while the Greek debate was on, for once their talking and worldly knowledge acted in our favour, they all needed to be heard and had taken their eyes off us.

Making our way back to the boat that was still our quarters and somewhat intoxicated, about halfway back to safety, there was a sudden roar from behind; I felt a branch from a tree meet my back. A scuffle followed during which a car began to speed toward us, the drivers tone roared with engine revs with the intention to destroy and terminate, I am convinced if he could of knocked us over he would have. I felt Sledge yank my arm. It was now time to get the legs moving. As I looked at the mob of at least fifty men who were bearing down on us with all sorts of weapons in their hands, as tired and as smashed as I was, my legs found new life and I started to run.

On reflection this scene could easily have come out of a script from Hollywood or the movie “Run Baby Run” based on the book written by Nicky Cruz. He writes about His life as a gangster, and how in due course he found deliverance when he came face to face with the Lord Jesus. In one scene, Nicky Cruz encountered the preacher David Wilkerson who exposed him to this wonderful gospel. Cruz resisted him, but that night he tried to sleep, he felt an awareness of an unseen presence surround him. It probably was God the Holy spirit, who will convict us of sin, righteousness and judgement. This experience later resulted in him calling out on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and acknowledging Him as the one who had died for his sins, Cruz now confessed Jesus as Lord!

When God places a call on our lives, if we have been chosen then it is impossible to escape. There is no point in trying to resist God’s will as His purpose will always be achieved. I read this book at the age of sixteen, I remember whilst in the hostel at Potchefstroom Boys high I also had a similar experience where I could not sleep one night, and it was eerie. I cannot speak for Nicky but I can speak about my encounter. One night sleep eluded me; it felt as if someone was watching me. This was rather scary and it troubled me, I needed answers! I discussed what had happened to me to my friends hoping to find an answer, but they looked at me a little confused so I forgot the about the incident and got more involved in sport... God’s mercy had already begun to call my name even before that, but I chose to ignore the call.

Back in Kos, as neither of us was ready to die, escape was in the forefront of our minds. Our escape was over walls and onto roofs of houses and eventually we found ourselves free from the threat of destruction. Even in that incident there was excitement, adrenalin had pumped through my body and left me feeling rejuvenated. I wouldn’t have been that rejuvenated if I had died and opened my eyes in hell. Although the pump through my body was good for a while, this pleasure, like all the others left me, and the void of emptiness found me once again.

Chapter 1 6th Entry

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 6th Entry

Holidays were over and it was now time for some forced responsibility in my life. It was the time most South African young men leaving school were force by the government to give their country two years of their lives. I received South African Marine call up papers from a division of the navy. My surroundings and lifestyle were about to change and believe me the change was radical. Yet, the same desire to achieve drove me. I was not looking for an easy out, like lots of the others from my intake, I wanted to give it a full go as long as I was not forced to leave the navy and join the army. Therefore I volunteered to go on an offices’ course at Oudtshoorn Infantry School. It did not start well for me, but here we see pride once again working in my life to my advantage, but keeping me far from the glorious gospel message of salvation.

I had finished basic training in Saldanha Bay; all the navy divisions began here for initial training, and then from there were deploy to the various divisions in the navy. The marines finished their training is Simon’s Town and the selected few picked for offices course trained as an independent group and not with the rest of the marines. The reason they did this was to prepare us for Infantry School. They needed to have us super fit so that we could fly the marines flag with pride. What some of us did to cool down after running up and down Red Hill; the mountain in Simon's Town, we would lie on the cold tiled floor in our barracks before chow time. I ended getting pneumonia a couple of days before we were literally trained off to Oudtshoorn. One of my instructors said to me that I was weak and I would never survive Infantry School, here it was again, all I needed to fuel me to get through what was a long tough haul. Ten months of hard slog! I remember arriving with a sick note, but as we were already looked down on because of our black boots and black berets there was no way when they called for any sick note that I was going to step forward, I had far to much pride for that. I had age on my side and I think all the running we did that I ran the virus to death. After ten months in Oudtshoorn I eventually qualified as a Platoon instructor. I was now left with a choice when I got back to Simon's Town, I could instruct troops (soldiers) and train them through their basic training or I could fight for a position and become a Coxswain. What that meant is I would have a crew under me and we would patrol the harbours of South Africa on a Namacurra (harbour patrol boat). I even lied to get them to except me on the course and said they I had yachting experience, I had never even been on a yacht let alone sailed one. The lie clinched me a position, only ten of us from our entire intake that year were chosen for the course, and nine of us eventually qualified as Coxswain. I spent my final year patrolling the East London Harbour. Again sin fuelling my passion to achieve my goal, but who in their right mind outside of Christ would ever view it like that. These were all decoys in my life to keep me from searching out the truth to my life and God’s call upon it. Many things will keep us from repentance, may God give us eyes to see!

Two years had passed and my military life was officially over. However for seven years I would still be in debt to the government for service, one month out of a year would be claimed by them. It never quite panned out like that I think I did three camps in total.

I asked myself what now? I decided it was now time to travel abroad to see and experience what I had not seen. Living in South Africa had shielded me from a lot of what the world had to offer and had limited my choices. It was with this thought in mind that the bright lights of Amsterdam beckoned and called my name. I responded to the call and ended up in the Red Light District, known as the freedom capital of the world, how God has not destroyed that city like He did with Sodom and Gomorrah must imply that there are some righteous saints spreading the good news of the Gospel to that area and hopefully some are being saved. It is a wicked place; the world and liberal society tell us that as adults we have the right to “choose”. This thought is devilish and comes from the pit of hell. Obviously, due to my blindness, I found myself not only being sucked into the realm of pornography and condoning it, but I also found myself becoming part of this debauched and perverse section of society that has destroyed so many people and even many Christians have been continuously lure by this filth. I confess I have also been amongst that number, but by the grace of God, we must all stand against this evil, finding grace to overcome. This battle rages on, but one thing I am sure of, the Lord Jesus has destroyed even this overpowering lure used by the devil, when he defeated him on the cross of Calvary. Call upon the name of the Lord and you will be saved! Do not be fooled that whatever we process today will be gone tomorrow. Our brain is far more complex than that! I believe that is why in the bible, the apostle Paul makes it so clear, that we need to have our minds renewed.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Through our experiences in life our minds process and store information that more often than not will lead us in the opposite direction to the truth and the call God has placed on all, but especially for those whom He has chosen before the foundation of the earth. God has prepared good works for them to walk in. Sin will endeavour to keep us from accomplishing God’s will in our lives. Nevertheless He will accomplish all He has set up to achieve, even obedience in our lives He will cause all “the chosen” and even those who have so often walked disobediently, will eventually learn the lesson of obedience, the sooner we sit up and pay attention the less scars we will have to pamper in our lives. I am just so grateful to God my Father for His endurance with me; His name alone will be praised! I praise and bend my knee to Him today, what will you do? Have you drifted from what was once a wonderful relationship with the only true and almighty God, has sin robbed you of that relationship and have you been chosen from before the creation and is your name written in the Lambs Book of Life, if this is true, repent I plead with you, for God will have His way and death may even be on the cards if you will not yield to the call of obedience, we must bring glory to an awesome God, His name alone be praised!

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)

There will come a time in the not to distant future where God will display all of the chosen as trophies of His grace and we will be forever thankful, while other will in the ages to come stand back in awe and look upon us, the trophies of God’s grace and marvel. Wakeup you who slumber, hear the call of your name, the great shepherd has left the ninety nine in search of you, repent I pray and call on the name of the Lord and you shall be saved.

“So that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:7)

From Amsterdam I made my way by ferry to London. It was there that I found a job in construction, breaking down old buildings and at night I worked as a door attendant in a night club in Earls court. I did not have a work permit, but that did not stop me from keeping this apparent wonderful experience alive.

I must recall an evening that could have gone in another direction, but for the grace of God. Again prior to repentance I had been covered by this merciful gracious God. There were four South African working on the door in a dingy club in Earls Court. One of the doormen now lived in England as he was on the run from the South African police for a serious crime. We ended up in a brawl and Garth and I spent the night in jail. Somehow pushing the envelope of life seemed to be the norm. Yet a week or two earlier is what I would like to highlight. One night Sean and I were on the door alone. A customer ended up making trouble in the club, he had been drinking, I confronted him and we exchanged words but I seemed to bring the situation under control. I thought nothing more of it. As I sat with Sean in the entrance hall talking about whatever it was we use to talk about in order to pass time and get through the night. I saw the door on the club side open and at exactly the same time, perfect timing, so perfect it was that in hindsight it could not have been a chance event. Sean jumped off the seat He had been sitting on and bumped the person I had words with earlier. In the collision he staggered colliding with the wall, Sean apologised and that was the end of that, he continued passed me muttering something under his breath and out of the club and then into the street. The good news was the trouble maker was out of the club without any further incident.

It was about five minutes later that I noticed something on the floor. It was a homemade shank about 6” in length. After giving it some thought I realised that Sean had bumped the guy coming through the door, causing him to drop the knife, obviously the shank was intended for me, but it never found me. I was only twenty-one years old and I had not yet found repentance for my life. Could this of been the mercy of God? If I was stabbed I could have died, I would be in hell today as an unrepentant sinner. However I was not lying on my back with a knife protruding from it, I was still breathing and while there is breath there is hope, thank you Lord Jesus!

I remember seeing all these massive bill boards warning all to have safe sex as HIV was a real and deadly virus looking for its next victim. I paid it some mind, but soon forgot the warning.

After a couple of months in London the work and the cold weather was getting to me, it was at this point that a dream opportunity presented itself and I jumped at it, I was now destined for the Greek Islands, Mykonos would be my home for the next three months.

Chapter 1 5th Entry

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 5th Entry

During my final year at school, sport was still far more important to me than what the classroom attempted to offer. In fact on occasion I would choose not to attend class and bunk school. Obviously with this attitude my academic results for our midyear exams were appalling. With an overall average of 28% and with only two pass marks, the likelihood of me passing that year was in doubt. In fact my family and friends had written me off with no possibility of passing my final school year. I had also been lured by my mother and in her kindness she had promised me a car on passing matric (Final school year). In her mind the Escort (motor vehicle) was safe. My dad then asked me a question, “Will you pass, Tyrone? As everyone is saying you are going to fail”. I casually answered him, “Obviously, dad!” He turned and gazed at me and simply said, “Then I believe you.” That is not the retort I had expected and it stopped me in my tracks. From that day, I knew I had to pass! I did not want to be proven a liar. The irony of it all, was I have already shown you that I am a liar and I did lie to get myself out of sticky situations, why then did I use “my word” to fuel my motivation, all I can say is that sin is a great deceiver and it will not rest until the father of lies, the Devil is cast into the lake of fire, only then will restoration on the earth from this evil be conquered, for a time at least, One thousand years to be precise. Sure souls are being saved as the Lord Jesus has conquered the devil but sin still continues to tugs at all, with Satan its ring leader. Pride was now my ally and I was going to use him to my advantage, do not think because we achieve certain goals in life that God will accepts us, He will only ever receive us in and through His Son. If I find myself looking for justification before God by the good I supposedly do outside the finished work of Calvary, then I am in danger of hell fire! The bible teaches this very plainly! Salvation can and will only ever be found in Jesus Christ and in no other!

“Yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” (John 5:40)

Let us make sure then that we call on the Lord Jesus so that we may be saved, do not assume that because you search the Scriptures as the chosen of God (seed of Abraham according to the flesh) and live by the law that you will find redemption, or because as far back as you can remember you have had a form of religion and proved it by going to church and you followed some sacraments. Maybe you think philosophy will give you a key to heaven, you will be wrong! Hell will be your destination and not eternal life; this is not simply my opinion, it is what we are taught through scripture.

“Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no man can come unto God the Father but by me.””

Because I had made a simple statement like, “Obviously dad” I was not going to be proved wrong, I had a perfect opportunity to now make all the gainsayers eat their words. I knew I had to pass! I called on those who could all help me; I even called on Juks (John), a good friend of mine and today is also a brother in Christ, how gracious God has been to me throughout life, even some of my friends who I grew up with had been called and now confess Jesus as Lord. He was studying Civil Engineering and I needed his help in Maths and Science. I kept putting his help off; it was the usual story when it came to studies as I left my preparation to the night before both my science and maths exams. He could not believe how little I actually knew. Nevertheless I passed both exams. Others were there to help me get through my additional exams. I ended up passing my final exams, and passing my final year. I had achieved my objective and nonchalantly looked over at my dad and in front of the some of the doubters said, “I told you so!” It was no longer Mr Liar, but now Mr Proud and both traits sin before God.

During that year I would often miss school to roam or ride the streets on my Kawasaki KDX 175, but never missed rugby practice. One day when absent from school, my coach, a little worried, felt the need to phone my mother. The conversation went something like this; “hi there, why is Tyrone not at school?” my mother’s reply was, “I don’t know”. He then surprisingly said, “I don’t mind that he is absent, but please ensure that he makes rugby practice this afternoon”. My mother found that hard to believe and which mother wouldn’t. That’s how it was for me that year, as long as I made rugby practice, then all was well with my rugby coach and I would get away with countless infractions.

After many eliminating Transvaal rugby week trials and with only one more game to go before final selections, a couple of us from Greenside High were among the remaining number. The day before the game, I was on my motorbike on the way to school and weaving through peak hour traffic when a car changed lanes in front of me without warning. My right ankle ended up wedged between that car and my bike. Somehow, by the grace of God I managed to keep the bike upright. If I had fallen, the chance of me finishing up under a car wheel was probable. Another close encounter! The result of this accident left me watching the trails from the sideline. I had mixed feeling; I was sad that I could not prove to the dubious selects that I deserved to be there on the one hand but on the other I can clearly remember being relieved, as I would now be able to enjoy my well deserved holiday instead of the possibility of playing in the Craven schoolboys’ week, two weeks of rugby that selected the South African squad. The fact that I might have missed out on a good time in Plettenberg bay mattered more to me just then than the potential of achieving heights in the sports field that had driven me all my life. Sins clutches were now even more evident in my life than ever before, the shift had happened, “party, party and party” was now more important to me than ever before. School life had now run its course and I was still amazingly breathing.

However, what I did forget to mention was another life threatening encounter when I was just 5 years old. I was told this story by my mother; I cannot remember any of it but will endeavour to relay the account as she passed it on to me. My mother and I was visiting auntie Petah, a friend of hers that lived in Bryanston, they had a pool in their garden with a fence around it, they were inside and I had somehow got into the garden with the pool in sight. I was out of danger as the pool was fenced, or so they thought! I managed to somehow build a ladder with the garden furniture and scale the fence. Whether the armbands were carried by me into the pool area or whether they were lying alongside the pool, I cannot say, but what I can say is I understood what they were used for. However, I thought that by putting them on my legs I would be able to walk on water, well obviously the obvious happen, I stepped off the edge and onto the water and over I turned with no one in sight, I flipped upside down with my feet the only breech to the water. Petah felt an impulse to look out the window and saw my bobbing feet, I am told she somehow vaulted the fence and came to my rescue. Again and again accounts of God’s grace looking out for me prior to salvation. Once again another near death experience and yet I type on a keyboard some forty years later. I trust you will by now begin to get the idea that my God is ever gracious and that is why I love Him. Time after time and I haven’t even started to give an account of my saved life as a Christian, yes the mind does boggle and will boggle even more as I further unpack my journey through life.

Chapter 1 4th Entry

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 4th Enter

I have thought long and hard on whether or not to include this next account of my life, but because I feel it will have some value to a lesson learnt, I will proceed with it. By the end of standard nine I was playing first team rugby and with the strong tradition of Potch Boys, admired by most.

What I am about to pen may seem somewhat conceited, but that is not my intention. The reason I have included this next story is to demonstrate the pitfalls of being popular and admired on the sports field. I suppose we all strove for recognition growing up in one form or another that is just the way life is. Not that this changes as we get older. I am convinced, however popular or admired we are, we can be a lot further from the truth than we have realised.

Potchefstroom Boys High is a school full of tradition. One of those traditions was for the pupils to have a poll prior to the voting in of the new prefects and head boy for the school and hostels. It was that time of the year and the pupils new it as “Beak Fever Time”. What that simply meant was every potential candidate looked to fall into favour with the voters. Personalities changed as boys played the Jekyll and Hyde game. The reason for this was to win popularity and get the vote and end up as a prefect. Many privileges accompanied that position and as head boy you were guaranteed your own room. The vote was tallied and gossip began to filter throughout the grades of who was in and who was out. The results were soon to be announced. I had just turn eighteen years old, and I was now even more stubborn and self-willed than I was as a child. The law of the land stated that I was permitted to drink alcohol and no one had the right to stop me, or so I believed. I was also chairman of the Darkroom Society and had the only key to the darkroom. What I and a few mates did on occasion was sneak off into the darkroom and drink beer. But soon others got wind of what we were doing and they would also ask me for the key so that they could do the same. I did not object! I had a trommel (chest) in which I stored my darkroom equipment, it had been emptied out so that space could be made for the empty beer bottles and when it was full I would take black bags, empty out the trunk and with nobody the wiser I would then walk to the bottom gate of the school grounds and leave the bags outside for collection by the rubbish removal company. Everything was going according to plan until one night during our official study period; a housemaster caught me with the smell of liquor on my breath. This was now the final straw and I ended up taking the rap for all the empties they found in my trommel. Here was another example of pride and deceit as I believed that I would be more respected by my friends because I refuse to tell the headmaster who I had been drinking with and this did earn me some respect, but not from him. The authorities felt it was time for me to move on and so I did. This left the boys having to revote and rethink their original nominations. Life is surrounded by the perception of a warp sense of reality, here I was a rebel acting against authority and yet I could well have been voted into a position of authority. A position that was meant to enforce the school’s law by making sure that the rules of the school were adhered to. It is easy to see my sin but are you able to see the sin of others in this account? They were quite willing to see me get kicked out but were not willing to assume responsibility for their own actions and stand with me in the punishment. We must acknowledge that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and therefore here is proof once again of sin in the camp and that we need someone to rescue us from ourselves. Thank God for Jesus Christ His Son!

I now needed to attend a new school and because both my step brothers Mike and Gavin had attended Greenside High that was the obvious choice. Not much had changed with regard to my attentiveness in the classroom, my marks never ever came close to the grade average, it was sport I was interested in not schoolwork. Gavin had been head boy in the year of 1982 and by default this placed me in a good position to be interviewed by their head master. I sat in his office with Don (step father) alongside me, the principle has some concerns, firstly I had been asked to leave Potch boys, not quite expelled but was there any real difference. He was concerned about my report card; he could see that I was not going to win them any academic accolades. It was not long into the interview when the direction took a drastic turn, we move very quickly off the subject of academic achievements and onto the subject of rugby; I played first team rugby for Potch Boys and this interested him. Greenside prided themselves in that arena, in fact the springbok James Small was two years my junior. I can vividly remember his question and then my reply. He asked, “Did you play rugby for your 1^st team.” I answered positively and then in front of my dad he categorically said, “You help us and we will help you.” What he meant by this was it looked dubious that I would pass that year, but if I played rugby for them they would turn a blind eye to my academic results, if need be. He did not quite say it like that but it was obvious to read between the lines. Whether or not they help me with my year end results for standard nine I cannot be sure, I however passed and that was that.

At the end of that year, the night before my annual vacation in Plettenberg Bay, I had just turned eighteen years old and acquired my learners licence for driving a motor vehicle. I decided that it was a good night to go out on the town. I picked up Franco (Goose); today we are still friends and brothers in Christ. We were in my mother’s Ford Escort and he had a driver’s certificate. South African law states that with a licence driver in the passenger’s seat I was legally allowed to drive with a learners permit. We decided that the Ox-Box in Rosebank would be our destination. The night took on its usual pattern. We conversed about our upcoming holiday while we drank a lot. It saddens me to think how society and peer pressure moulds and shapes us to reason with such folly. Drinking as a teenage and to imbibe a lot of alcohol was hip, go figure! At the end of the evening after last rounds were called, it was time to head home.

I will remind you that I had not yet responded to the gospel and was not yet born again, my eyes were not open to spiritual true’s and it would have been impossible for me to enter heaven.

“Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."” (John 3:3)

“Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.” (John 3:5)

With me behind the wheel and Goose in the passenger seat, I decided very foolishly to test the cornering ability of my mother’s Escort. After all the tyres on the car were old and they were being replaced the following day. Not for one minute did I consider my friend, some friend I was, or even for that matter neither did I regard the other cars on the road. Frankly, I was oblivious to the fact that we could die that evening. No one knows when their end will come, but when we are reckless and temp fate we lack wisdom. If death had called out our names that night, the reality of hell was real. The nearer I got to home the faster I drove, like I said; “dumb, dumber and dumbest”. The faster I drove the more Goose would squeal in horror; this then provoked me to drive even faster. It seemed rather amusing at the time, but there was nothing humorous about my stupidity.

Then it happened, travelling down Buckingham Avenue from Rosebank towards Craighall Park with my foot flat on the accelerator and Goose screaming raucously next to me, with his seat belt fastened as mine lay flat against the door panelling in its original position. The approaching corner had a petrol station on it with a block of flats above and three stationary cars parked on the corner. As I came into the bend the tyres began to screech as they had lost traction on the tar below, the car then bounced in the corner until the back left tyre hit the curb and before we knew it we were airborne. The Ford Escort was on a collision course with one of the petrol pumps.

Fortunately, the row of parked cars stopped us before the pumps, while we were airborne my life flashed through my eyes, this was my first real understand of what is meant by “my life flashed before my eyes”, this phrased is often coined but it was now a reality in my life and this would not be the last time it happened. But if it was not for the grace of God I am certain I would not be typing now on this keyboard, I would have been food for the maggots long ago. There was a thud as the Escort smashed into a parked Mercedes Benz. The vehicle came to a standstill on Franco’s (Goose) side. I remember shouting, “it is going to blow!” Before you could count to three, we were both outside the car running down the road just in case there was an explosion, thankfully there wasn’t one! We had escaped without as much as a scratch. How I cherish that old rugged cross the more I reflect on the mercy and grace of God. With both of our adrenalines pumping profusely it was now time to get back home and break the news to my parents. Lies, lies and more lies I confess, I somehow had to wriggle my way out of another tricky situation. The forgiveness of God could never be place on a scale and weighed, all the scales in the world would not handle the weight, His forgiveness is immeasurable, and for all those who exalt themselves above the word of God will regret the day they were born, when they eventually open their eyes in torment.

“Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.” (Revelation 20:14-15)

Repent I say, call out to Jesus before it is too late!

Once again I walked away from this incident with my life intact. Not only my life but also with my good friend Franco’s life, he too had not repented and confessed Jesus as Lord. Hell gapes with its mouth, devouring the unrepentant sinner, the thought is unbearable, what a horrific place and some have already understood the reality of it, even now many who we have known, those who have passed from life to death have had their fate seal in that wicked place. However I am can gladly say that Goose belongs to the Lord Jesus. This is another example of the mercy of God and is palpable for all to see!

Chapter 1 & 3rd Entry

Chapter1 & 3^rd Entry

What about the time when I ran through a glass door at full tilt smashing it to pieces while playing a game of catches with my little sister Laverne. We were visiting my uncle Robbie, I was seven and she must have been four years old. We were playing downstairs; the block of flats had large swinging double doors at the entrance. I recollect trying to cut her off by taking a short cut through the door on the right as she had just run through the door on the left. However as I was at full sprint I had not noticed that the door was closed and because the regulation back then for plate glass doors were not in effect, I ran straight through the glass but also tripped at the same time as the wooden frame at the bottom of the door prevented any further progress. Down I came screaming at the top of my voice with total dismay and absolute horror. Within seconds I was in my grandfather’s arms as he rushed me off to hospital for stitches.

On our return there was much discussion around the fact that the remaining intact glass at the top of the door was hanging on by a thread and as I lay there immobile and calling out for help, if the glass had given way it may have really cause me some damage. Yet, another account of the goodness of God’s mercy evident in my life, today I still walk with both my legs.

During those early years I found life confusing, not that I now have worked out all of life’s challenges but what I will saved by the grace of God, I am learning, howbeit ever so slowly, to trust and believe in God’s promises. Whenever challenged by other boys throughout those early years of life I would fight my way out of difficult situations, I knew no other way!

Primary School was nearing its end and High School beckoned. The question I now faced was what school would it be? With my determination and persistent temperament with somewhat of a nagging nature, I needed to get away as far as possible from my current environment. Having won my mother round, Potchefstroom Boys High would be my home for the next four years.

In Primary School I desperately strove to find respect and acknowledgement from both my colleagues and my peers. I achieved some form of recognition through sport and when I could not rely on those accolades, I confess to my distaste that I would use a strong arm and bully acceptance from those who would not give it to me. Now life had come full circle as I was no longer a senior with everyone looking up to me, whether the other boys feared or respected me, it was irrelevant, either way I had been the king of my castle, however now I was the small fry and away from the comforts of home. My first year at boarding school was terrible as I tried to buck the system. Half way through my first year, standard six, I decided that if my mother would not take me out of this terrible place, even though I had insisted on coming to boarding school, I was now going to show everyone that I seriously wanted out, so it was time now to pack a bag and run away. This would have to get my mother’s attention. With a penknife in my pocket and a small backpack I snuck out of my dorm in the early hours of the morning. My destination was about 120 km away, my nonna’s (grandmother) house. At the age of thirteen here I was with my thumb out, on a national road and a penknife in my pocket, just in case. What was I thinking, or should I more aptly say, what wasn’t I thinking? A young kid alone believing I was tough enough to handle anyone who would dare to confront me, on a deserted road with nobody conscious of my whereabouts. Once again by God’s grace I made it to my nonna’s house. The first thing she said to me “what if someone attacked you?” I remember pulling out my little folded blade and looking at her with a smile on my face. She looked at me as if to say, sure pip-squeak.

As I think about my frame of mind then, how dumb can one be, like I said earlier, “dumb, dumber and dumbest” things hadn’t changed much from my early encounter with petrol. And yet God in His mercy chose to send His Son to die for me, yes me, it is almost unbelievable! But let the truth be known to all those who will repent from their sin and turn to Jesus confessing their sin, will find forgiveness! Regardless of how many times you make the same mistake. I serve an awesome God, He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and He is my God and I will bow to no other!

You may say, yes Tyrone I have often seen you repeatedly bow down to sin, and have walked as an unbeliever and my retort will be, well said! However sin has been my downfall through life, I have always lacked self-control, I have never really had a grip on clear reformed biblical teaching and often I have walked as the hypocrites do, I acknowledge my example of the Christian life has been a shocker, it will become far more apparent to those who do not know me, as this “my story” unfolds, but I do trust regardless of your opinion of me, you will come to see and understand God’s faithfulness, despite the lack of mine. Sin may also be your weakness, and you may also feel like a bruised reed at times but God who is rich in mercy came to rescue us from our sin, even if there seems to be no hope, there is hope in Him, but God has forgiven me and because of His faithfulness, let me say again, I will bow to no other, praise His name! Let us not confuse the two issues! Although my light was almost extinguished, it was never completely removed and I have the scars in my body to prove that. There will always be consequences to insubordination. Disobedience has occupied far too much of my life, I pray that I will now redeem the time, however long that could be, God Knows!

Now back to my grandmother’s house, I then fell asleep exhausted from my trip and I was abruptly woken up by my mother. Before long I was back at school, regarded as a hero by some but a wimp who missed his mommy and couldn’t cut hostel life by most. Not long after that episode I settle into life at boarding school and found the will to achieve. It was back to what I knew the sports field. I tackled whatever came my way and I eventually excelled in rugby. It amazes me how we accept achievement as the norm to the exclusion of the will of God.

Chapter 1 and 2 entry

Chapter 1 and 2 entry

Another occurrence that springs to mind was when I learnt that petrol could burn. With a box of matches in my pocket, I ventured into my father’s garage in search of petrol I knew my dad kept for the lawnmower. After finding it, I proceeded to pour petrol onto the garage floor, but not before being creative, I did not merely nonchalantly pour out the gasoline but rather dispensed it in the form of letters making up a word, and I cannot recall the phrase. By doing it this way, it showed that I was gifted with artistic talent to my insubordinate streak, ha! With the fuel now on the concrete slab, I reached for a book of matches that were in my trouser pocket and with the can of petrol still in my hand; I struck a match and ignited the petrol. Little did I know that for as long as it burns it is able to stimulate off itself! Although I had stepped back from my original position where I had decanted most of this flammable liquid, I paid no mind to the container that was still in my hand. As I witnessed this wonderful display of burning light trying to read what I had written, I soon realised that the heat around my hand was more than anticipated. When I gazed down, reality kicked in with panic, as the container glowed with flames. Instinctively, I began to blow at the can profusely. This towering inferno remained alive, so I blew harder placing my face even closer to the flame, but still nothing! I then in a last resort began to shake the can copiously and miraculously the blaze went out. I recall the adrenalin pumping through my veins affecting my entire body with renewed vigour. I had been so involved with stifling the flame that I had missed the beauty of my inventive discovery, I therefore settled on repeating the process. Only this time I would pay more attention to my artwork and gather any further information I could from this experiment. Once again, I followed the same formula, pouring out the fluid and striking a match. Why is it that I take so long to learn and understand the dangers of life, in hindsight as I reflect back on my life this proved that we are creatures of habit and unfortunately I am just one of those characters that keep repeating the same mistakes. My chronicle will prove this! Even at the age of nine my temperament was well established, I see that now. The principles of life remain the same for all, with every action there is a reaction. Could it be that we are stubborn, self-willed and even possibly egotistical that these characteristics which are part of our nature keep us from simple understanding?

Maybe I should not generalize; nonetheless, these attributes were certainly part of my disposition. Once again, I am sure you have guessed it, the exact recurred. It was as if someone was watching a DVD, “the years funniest events,” except the title would have read “dumb, dumber and dumbest!” It was as if someone had hit the rewind button on their remote control, as they re-witnessed the same event, disbelief and astonishment clouding their eyes at the stupidity unfolding before them.

As the blaze was as fierce if not fiercer than my original attempt, the outside of the can alight with flames and as I attempted to douse them, they got bigger and bigger with its heat becoming more concentrated. Without any success, panic-stricken and not knowing what to do, I tossed the can away from me into the corner of the garage. My third attempt at burning petroleum flourished as the garage flared up with flames. My scientific experiment with flammable liquid gained a totally new perspective. Calculating what to do next, I closed the garage door, ran to the back of my garden and there I started to draw with sticks in the furthest corner I could find, in hope that I was dreaming but just in case I wasn’t I needed an alibi. This is concrete evidence that we are not taught to sin but born sinners; we have inherited this appalling condition from our father Adam. Here I was at the age of nine instinctively plotting a lie to get myself out of trouble. Not long after this I heard a commotion as Lena our domestic worker began to scream for help. Before long, help arrived with a red fire engine siren sounding. They proceeded to extinguish what was now a real towering inferno. I must have had guilt written all over my face, although at nine we are very capable of sin as I have just proved, we have not yet been skilled by it, that only comes with age. One look out of the corner of fireman eye and he must have suspected my guilt as a barrage of question then followed. But come what may I was sticking to my story, the consequence would have been far too harsh to handle. Although my defence was weak, I pretended to be drawing in the sand for a long time and because I had an alibi, although feeble nothing additional came of this disastrous happening. On arriving home my father then questioned me on what had happened and I regurgitated what I had told the fire-fighter. Whether he believed me or not I am not sure, however as he needed the insurance claim he did not press any harder?

Even as a youth, I was capable in devising a scheme that was very cunning to excuse me from accepting responsibility for my foolishness. I lied to get myself off the hook. Even though God knows all things before they happen. Once again God’s goodness and mercy spared me from possible disfigurement and even perhaps death. How I love you Father and thank you for all the goodness you have shown me throughout my life, I am forever grateful! Above all thank you for sending your Son my Saviour to pay the price for my sin, even this sin has been covered by His unselfish act of dying for repentant sinners. I have just proved that through this story that I am a sinner! But my sin has now been covered, or forgiven if you prefer by the shed blood of Jesus Christ my Lord.

Chapter 1 entry 1

Chapter 1

Life Begins

I was born in Robertsham, a suburb south of Johannesburg in October of the year 1965 and shortly after that my parents decided to move to Blairgowrie, a suburb in Randburg. They told me later in life that the reason for this was they wanted better opportunities for me.

A life of a middle class family and stringent discipline surrounded my father growing up. His father disowned any responsibility toward him so he never knew his father. He grew up with a step-father I knew only for a short time of my life, he was known to me as Clandy. My dad was highly motivated and driven by sport, in particular soccer, where he played as a professional for Brothers at the age of seventeen, I had an amicable relationship with him and he drove me to achieve in the sports arena, from as young as I can remember he spent endless hours with me in the back garden kicking a soccer ball. My father has since passed at the young age of sixty four, who could have known! God knew that is for sure; “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment.” He now awaits the judgment of God, as hard as that is for me to mull over, it nevertheless is true, I wonder what his outcome will be, once again God Knows!

My mother gave birth to me at the tender age of seventeen and we lived in Blairgowrie for ten years up until the time they separated. During this period of my life I and my two sisters Yvette and Laverne had what you could call a normal upbringing, it was not a life full of wealth but neither did we want for anything, I also remember my feet as hard as nails from all the barefoot running around I did in the streets. We were brought up with a catholic influence in our lives as my grandmother was Italian and a staunch practising Roman catholic. We all went to catechism up until I was to be confirmed, but on the way to confirmation I remember my mom asking me what I was about to do and because I had no idea of what they had tried to teach me she stop me from getting confirmed. Which I am thankful for! Religion is a very dangerous carry out if not taught correctly, it is like going to the doctor for a vaccination, you get just enough of the virus so that you will not be infected by it.

As a young boy frequenting my school, Craighall Primary, I remember always actively being involved with sport but never paying much attention to school work, which is just the way it was. I found great relief in sport and the recognition I got from it was good for ones ego, pride is taught from a very early age in life.

At the age of ten my parents got divorced and my mother met a man who within a short time became my stepfather. We clashed as I now had to deal with these new parameters in my life; I was not ready for this! Today I can honestly say he has become very dear to me but then my rebellious streak caused war between us. I felt that I needed to escape my present circumstance so sport became my god. Having to face your parent’s parting at the tender age of ten is never an easy thing for anyone to deal with, however you slice life, one is not unequal to this confrontation, no matter who you are. I agree some deal with it better than others but it will affect all confronted with this type of adjustment in their lives. To prove my point that year all three of the siblings failed, I was eleven, Yvette was nine and Laverne seven. Granted I was never very attentive in the classroom, but Yvette was!

Without trying to sound esoteric I recall a vivid memory and because it was my experience and I have purposed to be honest and frank in my deliberations in this my memoirs, I would often escape and lose myself playing soccer or cricket in the nearby streets. I had a best friend at the time, Johan Le Roux, the park was not far from where we lived and often we would make our way there on foot. One day we were running around the streets of Blairgowrie, whether we were on our way to the park or just messing around in the streets I cannot say, I nevertheless can vaguely remember not paying much attention to my surroundings, I was on the oppose side of the road to Johan and I needed to get to where he was. This event from here on in is so lucid in my mind that I remember it clearly, as quickly as possible and without a thought I reacted to my impulse to get across to the other side alongside my friend. In a running motion without looking left or right as I had been taught countless times, I gave no thought to the lesson and as my foot hit the road it stopped dead in its tracks. I heard a voice with volume and in clarity call out my name, “TYRONE!” as my name had just been bellowed out I stopped dead in my tracks. At that exact moment, a truck drove passed missing my face by centimetres, one more step and that would have been the end of me. Obviously I was relieved and rather grateful and thanked Johan for the warning. He turned to me and said “what warning!” He never heard a thing!

Although we went our separate ways and lost contact with one another we did however cross paths a few years back and I questioned him to see if he recalled that event, he didn’t, but why would he, as it didn’t influence him but impregnated its memory on me. There are many unseen things to our lives that we know nothing about, all I can tell you is this incident was not a figment of my imagination it was real and I now do understand that even then, although I had not repented and confessed the Lord Jesus as Lord of my life, I do understand that the grace of God had a part to play in my life even from that young age. In fact our lives have been mapped out from before the beginning of time or at least prior to creation. I now have also come to appreciate that God’s grace covers all, both righteous and the sinner alike, while there is breathe to our lives it is God’s grace that enables all to breathe and live. But this was far deeper than God’s general grace to all mankind, what if I had died, I was a young boy already accountable for my actions before God, If that be true, then I would have opened my eyes in hell, what a terrifying thought! Yet before creation God had written a book with names in it, the bible gives this book a name, the “Book of Life.” “And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.” (Revelation 20:12)

There are other books that record all our action both good and bad, all those secret sins we have committed and think no one knows about them, they have and are still being recorded in heaven to be recalled at the “white throne judgement of God” where all who have not repented and believed in the name of the only Son of God will all stand independently and be judge by God. King Solomon teaches this in the book of Ecclesiastes; “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14)

This is another truth the bible teaches, whether you believe it or not does not mean it will not come to pass!

God in His immeasurable wisdom and sovereignty is in control of all of His creation and all that abide in it. Never believe for one minute that He is not in comprehensive control. So even before I was born God has had His eye on me and has looked out for me in spite of who I am and my rebellious heart, but rather because of His will and mercy I now am still alive and breathing. I owe Him everything, even though I could never begin to repay Him for His grace and mercy in my life. Because of one man’s sin the penalty for all of humanity is hell. I have now understood that, all deserve to go to hell with me at the top of the list, and all because of sin but back then I hadn’t comprehended this truth. Many today have not understood this truth, but the bible is clear with what it teaches, mankind is doomed for hell because of their sin, yet God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die on behalf of all who would repent and believe on Him. If we do not believe that we are sinners and need a Saviour and prove this by repenting and believing on Him we will end up in hell. Why can I not come another way you may ask? The answer is obvious; no other god has paid the price for your sin. It is only the Lord Jesus who bled and died on Calvary paying the price so that sinners might go free. It was not Buddha or Mohammad or some monk or some other religion and especially not the pope that will free you from God’s judgment, they did not lay down their lives, it was only the Lord Jesus who is God, who lived on earth as a man without sin and then died as a sacrifice to free every sinner who will call upon His name, if you choose not to believe this then you will spend all of eternity in hell, where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. The bible is clear on its teaching on this subject. Now if you chose to ignore the bibles warning that is your choice but then you must suffer the consequences.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God sent not the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through him. He that believeth on him is not judged: he that believeth not hath been judged already, because he hath not believed on the name of the only begotten Son of God.” (John 3:16-18)

At this frail time in my life I was void of understanding, I had not yet responded to the call of God upon my life. God may have chosen me before time began but His effectual calling had not yet taken place in my life, in other words I had not yet deliberately responded to His call upon my life. How thankful I am that God spared me that day!

Where do you find yourself even now as you read my account, are you an unrepentant sinner and yet you believe in God and know that the Lord Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life but you feel you still have time on your side and maybe you will live a little and then repent and serve Him as Lord. How do you know what tomorrow holds, today may be your very last, it may be that your time will be up soon and the consequence of that will be catastrophic, I dare not even mention your outcome, it will be so horrific! Today is the day of salvation, repent turn to Jesus call upon Him and you will be saved, this is also what the bible teaches. What will you do I wonder? I am thankful to God that he has opened my eyes and I can now see. Salvation is an act of God not a choice of man, having said that when we are given life and are able to see by understanding that GOD IS and what He has done for us, then we must walk in obedience to His will. I did not always believe that, but by grace I now understand that to be true. Therefore I have made up my mind to serve Him; nevertheless I have also chopped and changed like unstable water in my obedience to my almighty heavenly Father. His tolerance with me has been phenomenal and for this I am also forever thankful. I cannot express with words how grateful I am that He has this attribute to His being. When we walk with doubt as our companion we are unstable in every area of our lives. We are tossed in the wind by every wind of doctrine, one day we believe some fade and before long we hanker after another. Like I said in my preface but by the grace of God I stand. I once again have urgency in my soul to please my heavenly Father. May the riches of His mercy fall upon you so that you also feel an exigency to call out to Him? Do not delay I say! How many times in your life have you come close to death and yet you still breathe, or maybe your experience is different but one thing we are all sure of is that death is eminent for all. Have you stopped to consider why you still breathe whilst other have died prematurely?

Have you been called, have you been chosen from before time began, respond positively I urge you!

I have also come to understand that all those who will reject this message love darkness rather than light and will not come to the light because their deeds are evil. If you feel that on your own merit you will enter heaven you are horribly mistaken, that is not what the bible teaches, it concludes all under sin and it puts it like this; “as it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.” (Romans 3:10)

Once again if you choose not to believe the bible may that be to your own peril. God’s general call has gone out to all!

Preface

Preface

In reflecting through the age of time and my journey throughout life I stand in awe when I consider where I find myself, I sit in front of a keyboard and computer typing my memoirs. This is not the first or even the second but rather the third attempt to pen an accurate account of life’s lessons. I do not intend to publish this in the form of a book as I have done previously with the two books written, namely “Destroy and Deliver” and “Destroy and deliver (the revised edition).” I am not convinced that what I penned in those books would be helpful in the lives of struggling pilgrims. They have however been penned; they are in circulation and what advantage or disadvantage they are having in people’s lives God alone knows. With retrospection I have repeated many mistakes I thought I had learnt, so who is to say I have finally learnt and will not make the same mistakes again, once again God knows!

The curriculum that life has dealt me, or more accurately taught me through my choices which have the “scars of consequences” that even me, let alone the opinions of others find mind boggling. To think that I am still alive, but by the grace of God I am able to pledge my allegiance to Him is almost incomprehensible.

My objective in penning “life’s journey” which I have named “War” is so that I may contemplate my many mistakes and what they have taught me and if it may help others to grow in understanding by helping them not to make the same mistakes, then God be praised! A correct understanding of poor preferences through life must result in a wiser outcome.

I pray that God will enable me to be honest and frank in my deliberation and if by doing this I offend any, it was never my intention. I do not and will not profess to have any secret formulas to life other than all wisdom can only be found in and through the person of Jesus Christ the Lord. God who through the flesh lived life on earth as a man without sin and yet He paid the price for repentant sinners, so that they may go free and not be subject to the penalty of the second death. We (believers) now have a high priest who is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. It is with this in mind that I will attempt to pen my account and life’s lessons.